The nhl teams as I understand them

I was introduced to the nhl 1 month ago and this is what I get so far (greatly influenced by tumblr)

Colorado avalanche: a group of male models? Don’t know if they play hockey or are there just to draw in more people to the sport ( totally working btw, good job)

Dallas stars: promiscuity cured by cow eyes? They wear green which is nice. That’s all I got

Carolina hurricanes : they do figure skating? Possibly while playing hockey

San Jose sharks: no teeth. But lots of facial hair. I have zero problems with that for some reason

Washington capitals: a Swedish father and his Russian wife bring up their special, precious children

Pittsburg penguins: Canadian hockey Harry Potter and Russian hockey Harry Potter?

Vegas golden knights: came like new kids on the block and stole some players from other teams ? Kidnapped them? everyone was sad and upset?

Nashville predators: I like them. They look like nice boys you’d be happy to introduce to your parents.

Toronto Maple Leafs: 50% of the team looks high on uppers and the other 50% on the verge of a major depression episode. People appear passionate about them.

Philadelphia Flyers: what is Claude Giroux? Why am I attracted to him? I’m having a personality crisis

Tampa bay lightning: they are good.

Winnipeg jets: goat children? Probably all in a cult. I had a dream that they won the Stanley cup.

Chicago Blackhawks : sensed fandom wank so I’m keeping my distance

Edmonton Oilers: something about Jesus? The second coming? I get confused by everyone in this team because I can’t tell if they are 15 or 45

Montreal Canadiens : …their YouTube game is strong. I want to take them all and keep them in my pocket.

New York Rangers: they feel like the Swedish kids in university that won’t talk to the rest of us internationals

I know there are more teams but more data is needed.

This made my morning!

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